Today is, as we all know, Cyber Monday. I had intended on passing it by, with nary a click of the mouse. That isn’t what happened. And this brings me to honesty. With myself, and with my other half, when it concerns clothes shopping.
I had all intentions of no more buying for the calendar year. Budget was used up, I was done. But I wasn’t. There were things already filling my shopping list for next year. Only, the calendar year and the seasons don’t perfectly align. It’s below freezing NOW. The winter weather is not waiting until Jan. 1.
Which brings me to two purchases. One, last week, of an eyelash poncho sweater. One just this morning of a colorblock moto sweatshirt jacket. Both on the list. For next year.
Here is where my old habits came back to haunt me. The poncho I’d gotten on a bit of a whim. Yes, I wanted one, but this particular one was just a surprise find on a rack at Ross. And I thought, “oh why not?” Fine. No big deal. But . . . I made up a white lie to the BF about it. Squirreled away the purchase and the bag. Sound familiar? Not a good thing. Not good at all. It’s not about the money. It was just $25 or something. It’s about the deceitful behavior. Saying a friend gave it to me since it was too long on her. I don’t even know why I came out with that! And I wish I could take it back. The statement. I can take back the sweater, but the cat’s already out of the bag, so to speak.
The second bit of honesty comes in to how I’m fitting them into my budget. I slated them in next year’s plan and listed the purchase dates from this year. Ummm . . . November of 2014 is not part of 2015. How does that make sense? It doesn’t. I’m kidding myself. If it was Dec. 21, and the official start of winter (and only days away from 2015) it makes some sense. But, no, pre Thanksgiving purchases are in no way next year’s items, no matter what kind of games I want to try and play with my charts and graphs!
I am giving myself kind of a sneaky ‘out’ by crediting gift $$ I know a certain relative always gives for Christmas and birthdays. I know it will be enough to cover the poncho and jacket. Yes, it’s still manipulating the numbers, and yes, they were clearly purchased in 2014. On the one hand, I do want to start buying more seasonally, and the cold weather had me jumping the gun on these items. But, on the other hand, I don’t want to try and cheat the system, even if it is only made up by myself. No closet police is coming for me. But I’m trying to change. And I don’t want to ‘cheat’. That was a major reason I started the budget in the first place a few years back. No more hiding things.
So, it will be a new year, a new start, a new budget. I slipped. I can work around it and still start 2015 fresh, with my shopping plan in place and intact. It’s very hard to break old habits and patterns. I’m better, but by no means ‘there’ yet.
Do you have games you play in your head or sneaky ways to ‘allow’ yourself to buy things? Do you have past issues with hiding purchases from your S.O.? Is there a lack of trust there that needed rebuilding? It can be quite a delicate balance between personal autonomy and emotional responsibility within a relationship. If you are all above board with your shopping and purchases, congratulations!!! And happy Cyber Monday 😉